I've never understood how some friendships of mine just fade. Especially the ones I'm still putting all my effort into. I've never understood how these newfound fairweather friends are okay with letting me go, with going from really close to unable to sustain conversation. And I always feel like it's not my fault, like I'm still trying to make things work, to be real and be normal, while they're the one who walks away from our conversations, who stops calling, who stops answering texts, who stops caring. And it's always so sudden. On Wednesday we'll talk on the phone for an hour about crossword puzzles and Bob Marley, and on Saturday we barely talk while playing tennis for two hours. I hope with almost all of my being that this friend is just having a bad day, that things will be fine Monday, or at least on Thursday night we'll be talking about themes as always, but another part of me is scared to death that it won't be like that, that we'll slip, that he'll just be another past friend, past love, past memory.
This sucks.
I definitely know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteReal friends are hard to come by. We put so much effort to people just to use it to their disposal. But we're the few, the few that can show others real dedication and friendship and most importantly love.. which is far too much for them to comprehend.
i know this blog is older, buttttt that "fairweatherness" i guess you'd call it... ahh that is so meeee and chris.
ReplyDeleteits our own stupid awkwardness. lame.
maybe your friends are the same? i know i MUST come off as so bipolar because i'm never sure of myself.. so i'll feel good one day and stupid the next so i won't talk that day.
and um, i replied to your comments on my blog.. i don't know if you get notifications on that, but yeah..