I told her I wasn't disappointed in her. I wasn't lying, I've just changed my mind. When it was once, it was okay. Twice, it's not habit, right? Three times scared me a little. And now she plans times. It's going to catch up to her. She could jeopardize everything she's worked so hard for.
It covers everything up.
I'm so scared for her. I don't know what to tell her. I've tried telling her, and the only thing she ever says is "it's not a habit, it's not a habit, I'm smart, Jennifer, I know what I'm doing, I'm in control, it's just funnnn."
It stops time around me.
She tells me all her stories. Poptarts, pop corn, pop rocks, ping pong. Seeing things. Hearing things. Having fun.
I'm running in reverse, full speed.
She thinks those stories will attract me to it. That I want to have fun and laugh and throw my cares away. She has no idea just how much those stories depress and disappoint me.
It covers everything up.
She invited me over for the first time, today. The first time since she started. "We won't do it, I promise. They might come, but you don't have to do anything, just hang out with us, it's fun."
It stops time around me.
And now I'm watching True Life and realizing how they sound just like her.
I'm running in reverse, full speed.
I thought she was smarter than this.
I know exactly what you mean.
ReplyDeleteHeart breaking to see someone who has such potential, someone who you thought had better morals... yet they throw it all away.
running in reverse...full speed.
ReplyDeleteyeah, this guy said it on True Life and I was like "For being inebriated right now, that's a good line."
ReplyDelete