The Pendulum Swings

When I was little I always wanted a Mac. I flipped and flopped, but now I've settled, completely settled, in my decision to get a Macbook.

When I was little I always liked English best. I wanted to read books and study them and write them. But most of all, I wanted to teach English. And my major swung like a pendulum, changing at every turn. But now I'm back to feeling called to be an English teacher.

I didn't even know about college when I was little... So I don't have that to guide me.

But over the past few days, my mind has been simmering: Biola vs Azusa Pacific. Actually, that's been the last year and a half... But as my mind simmers, I keep thinking Azusa. I can't imagine myself at Biola, but I can at Azusa, even if I wasn't "in love with the campus." I can see myself walking from east campus to west campus. I can see myself in the Honors program, but I can't see myself at Torrey.

Back when I wanted to go to Biola (oh, you know, two weeks ago), I kept hoping that I didn't get the Trustees Scholarship so I could use that as my excuse to go to Biola. If I got the scholarship, i was a little tied down. Or maybe I wouldn't get into the Honors Program, but I would get into Torrey. That could be my excuse then.

But when, at 5:40 tonight, I got an email from Dr. Bowden inviting me to apply to the Honors Program, I realized that I really want that Trustees Scholarship. I really want to get into the Honors Program. And I really want to go to Azusa.

I'm just hoping that my mind settles and stops spinning.