And it was a trip, let me tell you.
Not only was I the present-day, seventeen year old, high school Jennifer, but I had no idea how it happened. If I was in fact present-day Jennifer, the dream-Jennifer was still a virgin. I was all confused about how it happened and who the father was, most importantly. So I went for a checkup with a gyno in Uptown and brought along four male friends who I had determined as possible fathers. Even though nothing had happened with any of them. All the sudden I was six months along, crying, and wanting ice cream, still driving home from the same gyno visit. So the four boys took me to Rite Aid to buy me some ice cream. I poured out my seventeen year old and pregnant heart to them, crying all the while. I woke up still crying.
I was convinced I was pregnant while I was still in that state of not-asleep-but-not-yet-awake. Utterly convinced.
It was such a trip.
Well, I'm in fact not pregnant and won't be any time soon. It just kind of reminded me of a revelation and 180 degree turn I had over break: I want children. Lots of them. I used to be really afraid of having babies, but now I realize that it's because I'm afraid of being a bad mother, and, well, I don't really have any need to worry about being a mother yet.
It also made me think of all the seventeen year old moms out there. My heart went out for them. Because even if it was just a delirious dream state, I felt their pain and confusion and anguish. It was just so real.
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