That's from an old Switchfoot song. Ode to Chin. Way back when.
I've always doubted. Even in the moments when I felt most secure, most in love, most at peace with God and life. There was always a tiny little part of me that was pessimistic, "what if I'm just feigning this all?"
Yesterday I was talking to Christine about God after Amy's surprise party. We were literally standing in the middle of the street talking theology while the rest of our friends were playing hide and go seek around us. We talked about the people who had never heard the name of Jesus—what happens to them? Is Christianity just a cultural thing or does it really apply to everyone? We talked about how she wants to believe, and how a part of her believes, but how God "doesn't answer" her prayers, about how she still hurts after the passing of her mom (it's nearing a year).
And I realized, as I was telling her that God's wisdom is better than our own, I realized I believed it. With every fiber of my being I was sure of Jesus, sure of salvation, of faith, love, and purpose.
And I was overwhelmingly sure that God is using Christine, that she will be this great, strong, woman of His in not too long.
I've never been that sure of anything in my life. But now I am. I am sure that Jesus is the only thing I want, I am sure that He Is.
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