Sometimes I Hear the Voices But I Don't Know Who's Talking...

Not to say that I hear voices or anything silly like that, but listen.

All last week at Unleashed I was loving just getting time to think and pray and breathe and live before God, and I wasn't feeling tennis so much. I wasn't missing running and drills and listening to Cu yell about showing him my silly tattoo. So I'd pretty much given up. This morning I even told my mom and Koka that I intended on quitting. Sure I'd finish up camp because I paid a hundred bucks for it, but, you know, after that, it doesn't matter. If my life is more than a gpa, my life is most definitely more than a tennis team. I have so much more I can put my effort into.

So I was just sort of at practice today for the heck of it. I didn't care and had no problem if I were to hit an awkward ball or two.

So after running Cu has all the beginners line up and hit for him. And not to toot my own horn or anything, but my shots were amazing. And I was shocked, because normally my shots are super suckish. It was weird, but sort of encouraging. And then he starts talking to us all and I sort of zoned out until I heard my name.

"Jennifer, senior, right?"

"Yeah, I'm a senior."

"So do you want to be on varsity or jv?"

I was entirely shocked to be asked this question--I didn't expect to be making either team. I told him he should decide, and that I didn't want to unjustly be put on varsity if I wasn't good enough, which I definitely didn't think I was. He insisted that I had to pick and I just sort of tripped over my words until he said,

"Okay, Jennifer new jv captain." He went on to say that a lot of seniors there just gave up and were only there for the varsity patch, only there to have fun and not actually learn and play. But that I had spirit, I actually wanted to learn, and even if I wasn't the best, I was already a leader.

My jaw dropped. And immediately a verse popped into my head:

Proverbs 16:9--We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

And how true is that? I had made all these premature plans to just quit and God whispers into my ear, "Not so fast, Jenn, I have different plans. Just trust me." I mean, Jeremiah 29:11 says that He has good plans for me, not plans for ruin, but plans for hope and a good future.

I thank God that He made me listen to His plans even when I wanted to subvert His for my own. I don't even know what's going to come out of this. I pray He uses me, and I know He will.