Must I Wait

I feel like the past week of my life can be summed up in one song: Must I Wait by Phil Wickham.

Close my eyes, I’m trying to listen
Oh cuz it’s been so long since I’ve heard you speak
Send your love, cover over the distance
Between You and me

I've been feeling far, feeling disconnected, feeling out of sync with the world and with my God and with everything. Life wasn't where it was supposed to be. And at first, I didn't notice, and then I didn't care.

Blind my eyes, I’m looking to heaven
Holding all Your promises against my chest
I offer up the life I’ve been given
Till my last breath

And I finally got to the point where I was sick of being far. So I attempted closeness, but it didn't' click right off like I would've liked, wasn't easy like I wanted. I tried and tried, prayed and prayed, sought and sought, but I didn't feel anything. I had hope that He would show up, but I couldn't see Him and kept getting discouraged.

Your coming is as sure as the sun is rising
Here comes the day it’s breaking in my heart

But driving out to work today, it all sort of clicked. He's there. Even if I can't see, He's there. And He'll make himself known soon enough. It's just like the rising sun, you can't quite see it yet, but you know it's there, you just know.