We, the Tories, believe that...

[Girls State 08]

So I guess the journal entry for today would have to be about Girls State thus far and what I've learned. And I don't mean verification deputies and election commissions or how to listen to Tory Party Planks on three hours of sleep. I mean life. Life outside the theoretical walls of this country or the actual walls of Pitzer.

The Environment was the platform discussion I was a part of last night. And I realized that Creation is gorgeous. Think of Hume. Lakes and trees and leaves and wind. And it's not even our land, no matter how many times patriots can sing out "This land is my land, this land is your land." It is ours to watch and take care of, but not to own, not to abuse as we please. And we need to take good care of it.

So I think I'll walk to tennis practice this summer.

Also, I've observed people. Beautiful people with shining souls who can still make you smile at 3 am when you're trying to make alliterations for mermaid themed amusement park attractions. Crazy girls who can laugh and scream and smile and pretend to be Spiderman even when it's hot and you're all tired. Worldly girls whose materialism can break your heart, whose skewed wisdom hurts a little inside. Intellectual girls whose speaking abilities can match that of Koka.

And it's not like these girls are all different little groups or individuals. We are all each of these. We are all worldly. We are all intellectuals. We are all able to make our friends laugh at the drop of a hat. We are all brilliant, shining with a divine spark from beyond ourselves.

I don't even know what's going on this week. I'm so bogged down into it, so shackled by sleep deprivation, that I can't being to even take baby steps back to introspection. Life is Dwight's stapler, stuck in Jim's jello. Really, how did it get there? What is going on? How will I get it out? And do I even want it after it's out?

I think I'm just drained. Physically (fifteen hours of sleep over the past three days), emotionally (no time to think, to pray, to read, to reflect, to live), mentally (overwhelmed with Linens n Things, tennis, Girls State), intellectually (APs, SATs, an autobiography, a Ralph Nader project, Girls State), creatively (Muir hat, Tory hat, Muir-Maid decor)... And did I mention physically? (I forgot to mention the part about three hours of tennis in 95 degree weather on Thursday, six hours at Linens n Things of climbing up and down ladders, and all this walking about Pitzer...) Yeah, drained.

I need a Sabbath. A day to sleep in, wear my lounge shorts, read Shane Claiborne, and maybe play some tennis...To talk and laugh and love in the most chill way possible, not while frantically cutting papers and tape.