Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy
noun.
The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.

Last week, Hume, spiritual mountain, a week of professions of faith, of renewal, revival, life. Conversations and truth. Prayers and worship. Earnest searching. Life was right.

And our biggest prayer is that we wouldn't lose faith as we went down the mountain, as the air got cloudy with pollution and day-to-day "lives."


But of course, I lost sight of all I had seen. I got wrapped up in Charles Dickens and wondered why I didn't feel God anymore. I spent hours with Spanish translations and wondered why I didn't feel passion, wondered why everything felt pointless.

Perhaps it was because I let the world cloud my mind. I let myself forget. I let myself be a hypocrite, spending hours analyzing Hard Times, but not having minutes to reflect on the grace of my God, the lover of my soul. I forgot the last week of my life, I forgot Unleashed, I forgot the worship where my heart spilled over because I could not contain my joy or my sadness or my pure emotion. I forgot the Bible Studies and testimonies, the prayers which I've seen faithfully answered days later. I forgot Him.

All for summer homework.